It started small, like an undercurrent without much power or force.
Like when you stand at the shoreline of the ocean and the waves come up the beach – that moment when the waters swirl around your ankles, and then that split second where the waves pause and then start to pull back. That’s what it felt like at first.
But now the stirring has grown stronger.
It swirls in my gut and tugs at my heart.
If I knew what it was I could stop it. I could satisfy it, or at least cut it off at the pass.
But a holy discontentedness cannot be so easily dismissed.
What lies ahead, I do not know. What lies behind me is beautiful and wonderful. But this in between… I can’t describe it. If I could put it to words, perhaps that would do it. Perhaps then I could find some certainty, something solid to stand on. But I can’t. And the waters are rising and the current is growing stronger. I feel it pull the sand away from the soles of my feet. I want to move, but I’m uncertain where to step, and while it seems frightening, at the same time it is welcoming. The tide is turning…