This is the verse that’s been on my heart this week. “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me,” (Gen. 16:13 NIV).
Hagar had run away from her situation. More specifically, she was running away from her mistress, Sarai – the woman who was responsible for putting her in this spot to begin with. The Word tells me that Hagar was an Egyptian slave, and I wonder if she was given to Sarai by Pharaoh when Abram and Sarai lied about being married. I imagine Hagar despised both of them – for they had some kind of unmerited favor with their God. I mean, surely, she was aware of their God – his entire household was!
So imagine what she must have felt when Abram’s God – the Living God – saw her, and Egyptian slave – and came to her, and spoke to her. When God asked her where she came from and where she was going, Hagar gave an honest answer (v.8).
In return, God gave her direction and hope.
There’s a stirring in my heart, and I long for direction and hope. I hear God asking me that same question, “Where are you coming from and where are you going?”
My honest answer is this: I’m coming from a season of re-birth. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say a season of “un-doneness.” A season where everything kind of unraveled… It’s almost like when you are knitting or crocheting, and there’s an extra loop or kink in the stitch, so you have to pull the entire row out and start over. While it’s unsettling and a little frustrating, this necessary step allows for greater beauty in the end. I see things unraveled – undone – but I also see God weaving me back together.
As far as where I’m going? I see more waiting, but this time with less impatience and pressure on myself to make things happen. I’m going where He’s going. And it’s okay that I don’t know where that is, because I am confident He does. I see His hands skillfully working to make something beautiful out of my life.
I see God in all of it – even in the undoing.
And now, I see more clearly than ever before, The One who sees me.