I never would have labeled myself as a “crier.” I’m sure my husband would beg to differ, but there’s not a whole lot I get too emotional over. I mean, there are a few things that get the waterworks going, like when a coach spins their chair around for a contestant on The Voice during the blind auditions – that moment when all they’ve wanted, all they’ve dreamed of is just within their reach. Or stories and videos about acts of love and kindness towards another human being or animal (always crying if an animal is involved), videos of loved ones coming home from a long deployment – those all get me going. But the ones that get me every time are the videos of someone trying on Enchroma glasses for the first time.
(Enchroma glasses enable those who are colorblind to see colors like those in this photo below; colors they couldn’t see before. If you’ve never seen a video, watch this.)
I mean, one of those videos popped up in a friend’s Facebook feed, and the next thing I know I’m forty-five minutes into my own crying party – watching video after video of people seeing reds, purples, blues, oranges, greens, and yellows for the first time. And I’m bawling.
Almost all of them are, too. Crying over the beauty of it all, and I think, at the same time, crying because it’s been there the whole time – they just couldn’t see it.
And it makes me think of Jesus.
Maybe that’s why I’m crying.
Because in those moments I’m reminded of how He rescues me. I’m reminded of those moments when my eyes are suddenly opened to His mercy and grace – His beauty and love. I’m reminded of the overwhelming emotions of joy and grief colliding at once in this beautiful state of things coming together and apart at the same time. The indescribable feeling of “un-doneness.”
Suddenly, nothing is at all what it appeared to be, and the reality of what it is, is more radiant and vibrant than I could have imagined.
Just like Jesus.
Maybe that’s why I’m crying.
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